Dodgy internet but great neighbours: What it's really like living in small-town France

There are more than 34,000 towns and communes in France - many of these small towns and villages of a few tens of thousands of people and less. 

There's a whole industry based around TV shows of people moving to the French countryside, but there are also plenty of people for whom the dream turns into a nightmare - mostly because they have unrealistic expectations of what life in France outside the big cities is really like.

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So here's a look at what life there is really like. We'll start with some of the less good aspects, before moving on to the many positives . . .

It can be quiet … a little too quiet

That sleepy picture-perfect French village in the middle of nowhere that you loved so much on an ideal summer holiday was about as busy as it gets. 

Many smaller towns and villages pretty much shut down in winter, when the passing tourist trade stops passing. When it’s dark and cold and wet outside, that picture postcard gets a little bedraggled, while cafés and restaurants that were the life and soul of the summer party close early.

If you’re used to the 24-hour-a-day ambulance chase of a city, that still, never-ending out-of-season quiet can get to you.

Public transport is … patchy

Outside urban centres in France, public transport is routinely far from great. We’re talking one or two services a day, if you’re lucky.

So, whereas in Paris or other cities, owning a car is a luxury you don’t necessarily need, elsewhere they rapidly become an expensive necessity, for day-to-day living, like going to the shops or making appointments. If you're retiring to the countryside, you also need to think about whether you could manage if you were no longer able to drive.

Medical care, what medical care?

Around a third of France has a shortage of doctors, dentists or other medical services, known as 'medical deserts' - where healthcare providers and general practitioners are severely lacking compared to the rest of the country. 

Medical desertification mainly affects rural areas with an older population – though they’re also now developing in some towns and cities.

READ ALSO What to do if you live in one of France’s ‘medical deserts’

Internet access

This is not always the best outside the larger metropolises. It’s definitely getting better as the government pushes to improve the national network and roll out high-speed fibre access across the country, but there are still places where access is hard to come by.

If you're planning to work remotely from France, you definitely need to test out the internet access (and phone signal) before moving.

By accessing the Agence nationale de la cohésion des territoires website here, householders will be able to find out the contact details of operators of wireless, satellite or closed-loop internet services are available in their département.

READ ALSO MAP: When will my part of rural France get high-speed internet?

Noise

The countryside is noisy. And smelly. There have been more than a few cases in France in which city slickers have gone to court over a loud cockerel, or the church bells, or the cows. It got so bad that MPs passed a bill protecting rural sounds and stinks. 

READ ALSO France passes law to give rural noises and smells protected status

And, of course, there’s hunting. It’s controversial, and we report on more-than enough fatal incidents, but it’s a way of life in many areas of France.

Septic tanks

Talking of smells . . . around 25 percent of all properties in France are not on the mains sewage system, and almost all of those are in rural areas.

That means that if you're buying in the countryside, your property is likely to have a septic tank. As well as arranging for regular emptying of the tank and being careful about what you put down the toilet (you generally need to use septic-tank friendly cleaning products) you also need to know whether your tank is compliant with sanitary rules.

There are strict regulations that septic tanks must adhere to, and they are regularly inspected by local authorities. If your tank is not compliant with the new rules (and many tanks at older properties are not) then you will need to replace it, a costly (around €10,000) and disruptive process.

Are there any positives?

Oh, yes. Plenty.

We started with the negative aspects because it's important to be prepared, but there are many aspects of life in small-town France that are pretty great (and you will enjoy it all the more if you have a realistic attitude to the practicalities).

Property

Buying or renting gets expensive in big cities - you get much more for your money elsewhere.

It's not the case everywhere, but in some parts of the country, you can get a decent-sized four-bed detached property with a garden for less than half the price of an average apartment in Paris, for example. Likewise, the cost of living in general is cheaper in much of small-town France than the big cities (although as we mentioned, you may need to factor in the cost of running a car).

Green space

France is a very attractive country and having big skies and greenery within easy walking distance from your doorstep is something that never gets old.

Whether you are in the mountains, the rolling countryside or by the sea, there are some truly spectacular views in France. There's also plenty of publicly accessible space, from parks within towns themselves to national parks and forest in the countryside.

If you live a long way from the sea, there's no need to give up on beach days - many of France's inland towns have lakes or reservoirs with man-made 'beaches' where you can go and sunbathe, swim, let the kids play and then get an ice cream or go to a café.

Culture

Don’t think that, just because you’re not in a city, you’re missing out on a world of culture. Those smaller towns and villages might not have the dizzying whirl of bigger cities, but there are still plenty of cafés and restaurants, cinemas and theatres, museums and art galleries. 

READ ALSO French government offers €80k grants to attract shops, bars and cafés to rural villages

Smaller towns also have a busy schedule or festivals and cultural events - and that's before we get to the annual Fête de la musique, when towns and villages across France explode into music, dance and fun.

Shopping

When you dreamed of your French small-town experience, you likely pictured yourself wandering through a charming market with a wicker basket on your arm, buying fresh vegetables.

And sure, this is likely to happen - most towns have a market at least once a week, often more, and they really are as good as everyone says.

But while they're great for delicious and fresh local produce, they don't tend to sell toilet cleaner, washing powder and other boring but essential items.

For that, you'll need to head to the supermarket, which will likely be on an out-of-town retail park on the other side of the conurbation (another reason that you need a car). The outskirts of French towns can be surprisingly ugly, where the dull but practical things like supermarkets and furniture warehouses huddle together on charmless retail parks - usually alongside the ubiquitous Buffalo Grill restaurant chain.

Neighbours

What small town France might lack in amenities, it makes up for in amiable living.

You’re likely to get to know the mayor, for example, who can help with various administrative issues. There’ll be gatherings to which you’re invited, where you’ll get to know your neighbours, and who you’ll then be able to greet with a cheery “Bonjour” every time you meet, and it's likely that neighbours will invite you round for dinner or apéro.

And don’t be too surprised if, occasionally, someone drops round with part of an animal they have recently killed while out hunting. Or some vegetables they’ve successfully grown while your potager embarrasses you by failing to produce anything. Or, if you’re really fortunate, bounty from their secret cep mushroom location.

James Harrington has lived in Castres (population 40,000) in south-west France since 2010.