Kiss off: Why the coronavirus could spell the end of ‘la bise’ in France

Whether it is President Emmanuel Macron welcoming German Chancellor Angela Merkel to a high-profile state meeting or a regular Frenchwoman greeting her friend at a bar, their gesture is fundamentally the same.

They pout their mouths, lean in, smacking their lips in a kissing sound as their cheeks touch gently together.

La bise – ‘the kiss’ – is a firmly embedded social custom, in France.

For foreigners it can seem odd to kiss as a 'hello', but to the French it is such a basic social code that has existed for so long that people tend to do it automatically, without thinking.

Still, far from all French people are a fan of the tradition.

“One of the upsides to this epidemic is the end of la bise,” a woman named Cécile wrote on Twitter.

“I hate this “custom” and (that) as soon as I step back to avoid drooling, unasked for mouths on my cheek, people got upset.”

 

“Do you remember before,” Society asked, “when we said hi, bye and thanks by kissing each other? Have you asked yourself why?”

 

Other than pointing to how the coronavirus could mean quitting la bise for good, Society asked a poignant question: do the French know why they kiss? 

 

Turns out, many don't.

 

“I have always asked myself why, but I have no idea,” said Elisa, 20, who lives in the Parisian suburb Ivry-sur-Seine.

 

“I think people just do do it because everyone else does it,” she told The Local.

 

Like Cécile, Elisa avoids la bise if she can.

 

“I find it quite bizarre,” she said. “It's a direct physical contact with people you don't know, which you force yourself to do just because it's a social code.”

 

 

And you think you have problems with la bise. Photo: AFP

 

In the Middle Ages, kissing someone was the “ultimate symbol of a social contract between a lord and his vassal,” according to a long-read on the French news website France Info titled “after the crisis, the end of la bise?”.

 

Tracing the roots of the cheek-kiss, the article suggests that la bise has come and gone throughout history – notably taking long breaks after pandemics like the Black Plague. 

 

Kissing as a greeting only made a real comeback after World War II, “a kiss on the hand in upper societies, peck on the cheek among the lower echalons,” according to l'Express.

 

More recently, kissing the cheek has become the norm for everyone – not just when women are involved. A couple of decades back, young French men would opt for a handshake instead of a kiss on the cheek. Today, a young man kissing another young man on the cheek is perfectly normal.

 

 

'It's extremely codified'

 

There is a series rules regulating la bise – how many and which side to start with – that can be a source of distress for many French people, never mind foreigners attempting to learn local customs.

 

“When you see a gal from the family at your house and you don't know whether to give her la bise or to shake her hand,” states the tweet below.

 

Quand tu vois une meuf de la famille chez toi et tu sais pas si tu dois lui taper la bise ou serrer la main https://t.co/URHm7UE3w1

— Yamine (@yxmatl) May 24, 2020

 

 

“It's extremely codified,” Anthropologist David Le Breton told France Info.

 

“It's always accompanied by a myriad of gestures, you can keep a slight distance or bend forward, keep your hands in your pockets or lock them around the other's shoulders,” he said.

 

READ ALSO: La bise – who to kiss in France, how often and on which cheek?

 

And then there are all the cultural codes of when to bise and when it's best to leave it at a handshake. 

 

“Do I embrace my colleague whom I appreciate?” Le Breton asked.

 

“If it's a woman, she might think I'm being intrusive, and if I don't, she might think I don't like her.”

 

Several French women have in fact spoken publicly about their disdain for la bise, calling it sexist and pushy.

READ ALSO: Should two foreigners in France 'faire la bise'?

Macron was generously handing out bise to supporters before the 2019 European Parliament election. That was, of course, long before covid. Photo:AFP

 

A bise-ban?

 

For young women like Elisa and Cécile who grew up in a world full of mandatory cheek-kissing they never signed up for, the coronavirus' new policy of social distancing come with some sort of relief.

 

Same, same… And I finally will not have to kiss people I don’t like much to tell them hello and goodbye just because “we have to do it” (you know, “la bise”) *phew* pic.twitter.com/9q4FhPterk

— ✒ Marina ? ? Sortez couverts (@Marina__vo) May 20, 2020

 

Good riddance! RIP la bise.

— Elodie Peony (@ElodiePeony) May 26, 2020

 

Covid-19, an extremely contagious virus, has had many shun la bise as an unhygienic habit that best be shelved for a while, maybe even for good.

In early March, Health Minister Olivier Véran told the French to try and find new, less contagious means of saying hello. 

This was back when bars and restaurants were still open across France, before mounting critical cases in hospitals forced the government to install a strict, nationwide lockdown to curb the spread of the epidemic.

Back then, banning la bise became somewhat of a national joke. Pundits poked fun at politicians who claimed they would miss giving out kisses to people in their communities. French media flourished with articles asking “what now?” “Do we fist-bump instead?”

READ MORE: La bise blues – How the French are coping with the coronavirus kissing ban

Eight weeks of lockdown and a deep economic downturn later, the joke isn’t that funny anymore. But the question of whether France will have to kiss la bise goodbye is more pressing than ever.

To Célestin-Alexis Agbessi, a doctor at the emergency unit of the Parisian hospital Pitié-Salpêtrière, there is no question about it – the French will have to stop kissing.

“Absolutely,” he told The Local.

“We will need to innovate, change, create. There will be new ways to socialise,” he said.

“The world has shifted, radically shifted. I'm not sure we've realised it yet.”

What then?

“When kids in 2040 will ask me what is faire la bise,” wrote woman as a caption to a video of a girl mouthing the lyrics to the part of La Boheme where famous French singer Charles Aznavour sings “I am talking to you about a time that those of you under 20 years old you cannot know.”

When kids in 2040 will ask me what is faire la bise pic.twitter.com/E8RSyqPs38

— Vamana ?️‍? (@Cirasuolo_A) May 24, 2020

Photo: AFP

'You get used to it'

Many French are nostalgic about the thought of letting la bise go.

“La bise is a cultural question here in France. It shows our affection to one another,” said Paul, 20.

Paul said he did not foresee a future without la bise.

“Once we have a vaccine, why shouldn't we? We have had the flu here since forever and that didn’t stop us from doing la bise.”

Eva, a Polish woman who has lived in France for 17 years, said she would miss doing la bise, but only with certain people.

“It's a good tradition,” she said.

“In the beginning I found it odd, but then you get used to it.”

As for Lisa, she was certain. She had never wanted to do la bise in the first place, now she definitely never had to.

“I think a sincere smile is much better than a forced bise,” she said.