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LANGUAGE AND CULTURE

La bise: Who to kiss in France, how many times and on which cheek

French academic Mathieu Avanzi explains the complicated rules and traditions behind France's kissing tradition that leaves many foreigners baffled.

La bise: Who to kiss in France, how many times and on which cheek
Which cheek does Merkel go for first when greeting Macron? Photo: AFP

In the English-speaking world, friends and family generally greet each other with a wave, handshake or hug, depending on their degree of intimacy. In France and other countries, however, the kiss is more common – not on the lips, but a symmetrical brush of the cheeks.

The image is well known in world culture and is a part of everyday life in much of Europe, but the ritual can seem impenetrable to the uninitiated. Would you kiss someone the same way in Marseilles as in Madrid? Which cheek should you present first? And how many kisses?

For my upcoming book, “Do You Speak the French Language(s)?”, I collected information about how French is spoken via an online system. It allowed me to identify the prevalence and range of a number of regional expressions, including the classic pain au chocolat versus chocolatine debate.

To better understand the question of how one greets a friend or family member with a kiss in Europe, I decided to map it.


Many Anglophones find 'la bise' slightly awkward. Photo: AFP

Greeting with a kiss isn’t just a ‘French thing’

First things first, while many Anglo-Saxons believe that kissing as a greeting is unique to France, the practice is common in a wide range of European and Latin countries, as well as Russia and certain Arabic and sub-Saharan nations.

Its origin is unknown, though there are many theories. Is it a ritualised form of ancestral behavior, like sniffing each other for recognition, or is it an emotional one arising from childhood? There’s no consensus among historians, anthropologists and other experts of human behavior. The ritual appears to date back to antiquity and has known highs and lows throughout modern human history. Sometimes it was encouraged, other times forbidden.

The question becomes even more complex when one tries to understand contextual factors. There’s the event itself (saying hello, goodbye, wishing someone a happy new year, etc.), and then there’s the relationship between the people involved (it was long reserved for family members and those of the same gender). Kissing between men was once stigmatized, yet is common in certain contexts and some Slavic cultures.

For the past 15 years or so, this ritual has been a regular subject of online debate. Some of the discussions are about how many kisses one should give. In France, the question first cropped up in 2003 with the appearance of the website Combiendebises (“Howmanykisses”). The greeting also inspired a popular video from British stand-up comedian Paul Taylor, “La bise.”

To better understand the question, from 2016 to 2019 we conducted a series of online surveys. Our initial map was based on answers from more than 18,600 respondents who said they had spent the bulk of their youth in Belgium, France or Switzerland.

When asked “How many kisses do you give to greet someone close to you?” the respondents were given the choice of one, two, three, four, five or more. We tracked the responses for each district in Belgium, France and Switzerland, retaining the number with the highest percentage of responses. The results are striking and show a number of clear patterns.

In Belgium, nearly 100 percent of respondents stated that the correct number of kisses was one. Interestingly, the only part of France where the same holds true is hundreds of kilometers away, in the Brittany’s Finistère region. There the percentage answering one kiss was slightly lower, at around 70 pecent, but still a clear majority.

Elsewhere in France, most residents exchange two kisses when greeting somebody, except for those in the region of Languedoc and the south of the Rhône-Alpes region.

Two kisses are also customary in the French-speaking parts of Switzerland. In northern France, the areas in pink correspond to places where people still give four kisses. However, data indicate that in these regions the four-kiss greeting has stiff competition from the two-kiss version.

As can be seen on the maps below, the custom of four kisses is more prevalent among older residents of France, primarily in eastern Brittany and the Loire region. Yet there’s also a hot spot of support among under-25s in the Champagne region.

 

The reason behind these differences remains unknown. One respondent remarked that the custom of three kisses appeared more prevalent in the area roughly corresponding to 17th-century Protestant France, and that it could have been a way of recognising those of the same faith (three being a sign of the Trinity). Tradition has it that four kisses are given so that each person can kiss each of the cheeks of the other twice.

Which cheek first?

The second debate relates to the cheek that should be presented first for a kiss. While 15 percent of the 11,000 respondents said “both” or stated that they didn’t know, the remaining 85 percent had clearer ideas, as shown in the map below.

We can see that the territory is broadly divided into two parts. In the south-eastern and eastern areas of France, it’s left cheek first. In the rest of the country, it’s the right. There are, however, two islands in each of these broad regions: In the blue zone, the French-speaking part of Switzerland stands out. In the red zone, Haute-Normandie is the exception. Here again, the patterns do not correspond to any known zones that could explain the difference.

What do you call it?

It is a less known fact that the way in which French speakers refer to the action of greeting with a kiss also varies. Our surveys enabled us to map with precision the areas corresponding to the use of seven regional verbs and expressions.

Most of the words found on this map belong to the same family as the contemporary French term bise (from which bisou is derived). While it has fallen out of everyday use, the informal verb biser is found in the writing of authors such as Raymond Queneau) and still appears in some dictionaries. It is still used in western-central France, alongside the variant biger, which likely entered regional French by way of the local dialects (Poitevin, Angevin or Tourangeau) spoken by our ancestors a century ago.

The word baise is a slang term for sex in France but has no such connotation in Belgium, where one gives a baise (to someone). In fact, it’s based on the verb baiser, to kiss – also found in the old-fashioned word baisemain, meaning a kiss on the hand.

The variation baisse, found in part of the Picardie region, is also linked to the local form of the word baiser. The verb se boujouter, typically used in Normandy, comes from the word boujou, which is a dialectical form of the French bonjour used in the region. (Note that it’s not related to the French word for cheek, joue).

In French-speaking Switzerland, the expression se faire un bec is used. It’s derived from the verb becquer, still used in French, which originally meant “to take by the beak.” The word bec can be linked to its informal French equivalent, bécot (which gives us the verb bécoter, meaning to kiss or smooch).

In the parts of France where Germanic dialects were spoken at the beginning of the 20th century, the term schmoutz is found. It’s of German origin and now means kiss in French – and also gave English speakers the word “smack,” as in to smack one’s lips.

Given the richness and variety of European culture and language, it’s unsurprising to find that how one refers to and performs a “simple” greeting can vary so much from region to region.

In our great-grandparents’ time – not so long ago, really – regional dialects and languages were what distinguished different communities. Today, this wonderful diversity lives on, both in the physical world and, much to the delight of linguists, also online.

Mathieu Avanzi is a linguistics and French language specialist at the Sorbonne University in Paris. This article first appeared on The Conversation.

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LIVING IN FRANCE

What changes in France in July 2022

Summer's here and the time is right for national celebrations, traffic jams, strikes, Paris beaches, and ... changing the rules for new boilers.

What changes in France in July 2022

Summer holidays

The holiday season in France officially begins on Thursday, July 7th, as this is the date when school’s out for the summer. The weekend immediately after the end of the school year is expected to be a busy one on the roads and the railways as families start heading off on vacation.

READ ALSO 8 things to know about driving in France this summer

Strikes

But it wouldn’t really be summer in France without a few strikes – airport employees at Paris’ Charles de Gaulle and Orly airports will walk out on July 1st, while SNCF rail staff will strike on July 6th. Meanwhile Ryanair employees at Paris, Marseille and Toulouse airports will strike on yet-to-be-confirmed dates in July.

READ ALSO How strikes and staff shortages will affect summer in France

Parliamentary fireworks?

Prime minister Elisabeth Borne will present the government’s new programme in parliament on July 5th – this is expected to be a tricky day for the Macron government, not only does it not have the parliamentary majority that it needs to pass legislation like the new package of financial aid to help householders deal with the cost-of-living crisis, but opposition parties have indicated that they will table a motion of no confidence against Borne.

Parliament usually breaks for the summer at the end of July, but a special extended session to allow legislation to be passed means that MPs won’t get to go on holiday until at least August 9th. 

Fête nationale

July 14th is a public holiday in France, commemorating the storming of the Bastille which was the symbolic start of the French Revolution. As usual, towns and cities will host parades and fireworks – with the biggest military parade taking place on the Champs-Elysées in Paris – and many stores will remain closed.

As the national holiday falls on a Thursday this year, many French workers will take the opportunity to faire le pont.

Festival season really kicks in

You know summer’s here when France gets festival fever, with events in towns and cities across the country. You can find our pick of the summer celebrations here.

Paris Plages

The capital’s popular urban beaches return on July 9th on the banks of the Seine and beside the Bassin de la Villette in northern Paris, bringing taste of the seaside to the capital with swimming spots, desk chairs, beach games and entertainment.  

Summer sales end 

Summer sales across most of the country end on July 19th – unless you live in Alpes-Maritimes, when they run from July 6th to August 2nd, or the island of Corsica (July 13th to August 9th).

Tour de France

The Tour de France cycle race sets off on July 1st from Copenhagen and finishes up on the Champs-Elysée in Paris on July 24th.

New boilers

From July 1st, 2022, new equipment installed for heating or hot water in residential or professional buildings, must comply with a greenhouse gas emissions ceiling of 300 gCO2eq/KWh PCI. 

That’s a technical way of saying oil or coal-fired boilers can no longer be installed. Nor can any other type of boiler that exceeds the ceiling.

As per a decree published in the Journal Officiel in January, existing appliances can continue to be used, maintained and repaired, but financial aid of up to €11,000 is planned to encourage their replacement. 

Bike helmets

New standards for motorbike helmets come into effect from July 1st. Riders do not need to change their current helmets, but the “ECE 22.05” standard can no longer be issued – and all helmets sold must adhere to a new, more stringent “ECE 22.06” standards from July 2024

New cars

From July 6th new car models must be equipped with a black box that record driving parameters such as speed, acceleration or braking phases, wearing (or not) of a seat belt, indicator use, the force of the collision or engine speed, in case of accidents.

New cars II

From July 1st, the ecological bonus for anyone who buys an electric vehicle drops by €1,000, while rechargeable hybrids will be excluded from the aid system, “which will be reserved for electric vehicles whose CO2 emission rate is less than or equal to 20g/km”.

What’s in a name?

Historically, the French have been quite restrictive on the use of family names – remember the concern over the use of birth names on Covid vaccine documents? – but it becomes easier for an adult to choose to bear the name of his mother, his father, or both by a simple declaration to the civil status. All you have to do is declare your choice by form at the town hall of your home or place of birth.

Eco loans

In concert with the new boiler rules, a zero-interest loan of up to €30,000 to finance energy-saving renovations can be combined with MaPrimeRénov’, a subsidy for financing the same work, under certain conditions, from July 1st.

Rent rules

Non-professional private landlords advertising properties for rent must, from July 1st, include specific information about the property on the ad, including the size of the property in square metres, the area of town in which the property is in, the monthly rent and any supplements, whether the property is in a rent-control area, and the security deposit required. Further information, including the full list of requirements for any ad, is available here.

Perfume ban

More perfumes are to be added to a banned list for products used by children, such as soap-making kits, cosmetic sets, shampoos, or sweet-making games, or toys that have an aroma.

Atranol, chloroatranol (extracts of oak moss containing tannins), and methyl carbonate heptin, which smells like violets, will be banned from July 5th, because of their possible allergenic effects.

Furthermore, 71 new allergenic fragrances – including camphor, menthol, vanilin, eucalyptus spp. leaf oil, rose flower oil, lavendula officinalis, turpentine – will be added to the list of ingredients that must be clearly indicated on a toy or on an attached label.

Ticket resto limits

The increased ticket resto limit ended on June 30th, so from July 1st employees who receive the restaurant vouchers will once again be limited to spending €19 per day in restaurants, cafés and bars. The limit was increased to €38 during the pandemic, when workers were working from home.

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