Donald Trump's Paris trip is upon us and if the promised blue lobster dinner in the plush Eiffel Tower restaurant is anything to go by, the red carpet is certainly being rolled out for the US president's visit.
But here at The Local, we have our own suggestions of hotspots for the President to visit once he's witnessed the military pomp of the July 14th parade.
A Paris 'No-Go Zone' – to visit the POTUS Poubelle
According to Trump's beloved Fox News tv station Paris is littered with several no-go zones, including the popular, crazy and ever trendier neighbourhood of Belleville.
Trump can see for himself that Fox may have got it wrong and also his mate Jim, who, as we can see from the typical car parking situation seen below, was wrong to say “Paris is no longer Paris.
But Trump's main reason to visit Belleville would be to check out his now world famous look-alike – the “Trump trash can” or “The Donald bin” or even the “POTUS Poubelle” captured in this photo below.
(The Local takes no responsibility if the bin is no longer there.)
American Dream diner
We've heard rumours that Trump likes his steak two ways: well done and with ketchup. But even as the US president, he might find French chefs and purveyors of haute cuisine unwilling to serve up meat US-style.
So we suggest Trump pays a visit to one of the many American diners in Paris where they're likely to be more receptive to his culinary tastes. Perhaps the “American Dream” diner which claims to be the “best American cuisine in Paris” would be a better option for Thursday night's dinner than the Eiffel Tower's Jules Verne. They do have ketchup.
(Photo: Sylvain LeProvost/Flickr)
The Wall of love
Trump has made his love of walls clear.
And now he's in Paris this passion can flourish at the wall of love (Le Mur des Je T'aime) in Montmartre. The bonus about this one is that it's already built so there's no need for debate about who should pay for it.
Located in a picturesque and typically Parisian garden in Abbesses in Paris' 18th arrondissement, the wall of love is covered with 311 written declarations of love in 250 languages, including Spanish and English for that matter.
The mini Statue of Liberty
If Trump feels passionately about anything, it's the US of A. And what better way to blast away any feelings of homesickness during his 24 hours in Paris than with a quick trip to the (other) statue of liberty.
Situated on the Pont de Grenelle in Paris' upmarket 15th arrondissement, the replica of the larger model in New York was given to Paris by the Parisian community in the US to mark the centenary of the French Revolution.
It might not be the original, but it should keep Trump going before he can get home to see her big sister.
The hall of mirrors at Versailles
Donald Trump is a fan of the bling, what with his golden hotel in Las Vegas, and the reportedly golden interiors in his Manhattan penthouse and Florida mansion.
And so it makes sense that president with the Midas touch, and a generous amount of self…erm confidence, should visit one of the most beautiful rooms in one of the finest palaces in the world – the hall of mirrors at Versailles.
The Russian Orthodox Cathedral
Donald Trump seems to have a lot to thank the Russians for, so a trip to the recently opened Russian Orthodox Cathedral in Paris would be a good chance for the US president to pay his respects.
Or he could pop into the confessional box to get something off his chest.
Trump would be following in the footsteps of Russian president Vladimir Putin who made a visit to the cathedral during his recent trip to Paris. Although granted it might not be such a good move right now.
The Moulin Rouge
Now that the president is dealing with the more serious matter of running the US, we're sure a part of him must be missing the days when he was co-owner of the Miss Universe beauty pageant.
Luckily, the Moulin Rouge in Paris – known for the raucous can-can dance with its famously titillating costumes – should make Trump feel right at home in the French capital. But he should note, grabbing dancers (anywhere) will lead to him being thrown out.
After so much culture, the US president will probably be in much need of some downtime.
And as the world knows Trump's favourite way to relax is golf. Luckily, there are some great golf courses around Paris like Golf National, and even if he doesn't own this one, perhaps he can take comfort in the fact that it will be soon be hosting some of the best players in the world during the Ryder Cup in 2018.