The 28 surefire signs that your child is definitely French

The 28 surefire signs that your child is definitely French
France-based writer and expat mum-of-two Jackie McGeown takes a lighthearted look at the moments when you know your bicultural child is definitely a Frenchie.
You know how it is. You give birth to what you think is a perfectly “normal” child. Sure, the birth may have taken place in France but you're confident that your influence is strong enough to turn your child out just like you. 
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The baby grows, starts to develop a personality of its own, eventually speaks. Certain things your darling says and does seem unusual, even alien. Little by little you begin to suspect that your child is, in fact, a real Frenchie.
Here are 28 of the most common signs your bébé is a real native.
1. They have an intense relationship with someone called 'Doudou' (basically a rag with a face).
2. They say “Oh la la!” WHICH IS FREAKIN' ADORABLE.
3. When they hurt themselves, they say “Aïe!” instead of “Ow!”
Photo: Igor Tishenko/Depositphotos
4. Arguments contain frequent references to “having the right” to do something, like they're little lawyers. “Tu n'as pas le droit a faire ça!”
5. Meals in restaurants aren't stress-filled because of their intense “No, you cannot leave the table until everyone is finished” training that began shortly after birth.
6. The theme tune to Trotro is ingrained in your brain forever. (No it isn't “trop trop rigolo!”)
7. For them hot chocolate is a morning drink, whereas you know it's really for bedtime.
8. They have a better knowledge of cheese than you.
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9. They love all Kinder products.
10. Caca!!
11. Caca-boudin!!!
12. They pout convincingly.
13. And have that shrug/eyebrow-lift thing down pat.
14. They speak French better than you and their accent is TO DIE FOR.
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15. The majority of the time they are on holiday from school, or it feels like it to you anyway.
16. Nutella isn't some once-a-year wonder product but something they take for granted.
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17. You give them baked beans for lunch and they're all, “Qu'est-ce que c'est?”.
18. They dip bread products into milk when any fool knows that's biscuit-only territory.
19. They pronounce it 'Speederman'. 
Photo: Roger Murmann/WikiCommons
20. In the slightest breeze they are wrapped up head-to-toe in thick layers, like some ancient duchess on a cure by the seaside.
21: They can ski.
Photo: FamVeldman/Depositphotos
22. They are taken to doctors for things like sore throats, which in France is considered a serious medical condition and given a fancy name. (In Britain the same condition is treated with eye rolls and honey.)
23. They think pain-au-chocolats are normal, not exotic.
24. Sweets and chocolates are for le goûter at 4 o'clock so they don't whine for them all day. Well, pretty much most of the time.
25. You're pottering about mid-morning and suddenly think, “Oh my God, what did I do with my toddler?!” then you remember that you live in France and so they're at school even though they're only 3 years old.
26. “Pin-pon pin-pon” is their default fire engine sound.
27. English isn't their first language so when they do speak it, it's HILARIOUS but it's getting better every day!
28. You know, their French passport and birth certificate. Those are strong hints.
Jackie McGeown runs the site Best France Forever. Follow her on Facebook here for regular updates.

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