What you think: You will step out of the house into a beautiful garden
French translation: You will buy a garden, but this is not necessarily anywhere near your house. The house you are buying may indeed be photographed with a beautiful garden, but this garden may actually belong to your neighbour.
Your garden may be up the road, around the corner and next on the left. This was not something we found out until we spent a week in France viewing properties; we had asked for a garden or some land, we did not know that we had to ask for it to be attached to the property.
Photo: Andrea Lynn Fisher
2. Be very clear about how much work you want to do on a property
The phrase "Requires a little updating..." can also be defined in two ways.
What you think: It needs a little bit of updating.
French translation: Requires a bathroom, a kitchen and possibly one or more walls, floors or roof adding, and no, this is not an exaggeration. We viewed a number of properties that required a ‘little bit of updating' one of these properties was so derelict that there was no way you could move into it - even the local wildlife was too afraid to enter it.
On this occasion we had an extremely enthusiastic estate agent (who had given us torches to use and gallantly held the rickety, wobbly ladder required to get to the first floor) who was ever so excited about how we lucky we were, as we could add the bathroom of our dreams just here, and that it could be off the master bedroom that we could build just there, and once the walls were made secure we could add the window back into the original stone opening and the whole place would look amazing and how, as we didn't have to make do with somebody else's choices, we could really make the place our own.
A crumbling castle in central France. Photo: inkflo
3. Look beyond the photographs in French ads
Photographs anywhere else: The house is dressed and shown at its best
French photographs: Nothing in the house is cleared away and it appears to be mandatory to have a clothes maiden, complete with clothes, in the bathroom. Not just anywhere but actually blocking the view of the bathroom so that the clothes maiden is all that you really see. The beds must not be made and if possible, be covered in lots of clutter; again clothes seem to be a popular choice. In the kitchen, worktops must not be cleared, remember clutter is key.
In France it appears the photographer doesn't need to have any knowledge of what makes a good photograph, and when taking a photograph of a room, one item, preferably of clutter or an item of furniture (that is not included in the sale) must take up the majority of the shot.
Dream home? Photo: XWRN
4. Find out if the home is actually in right place
What you think: The property will be in the certain town mentioned in the ad.
In France, at least in the north-western countryside, the property will be in a 30 km radius of the town mentioned in the ad, not necessarily anywhere near it. There is a reason for this ambiguity, in this part of France many properties are left empty, so it is for safety reasons, but when you are looking for a property in a ‘certain town' be aware that you might be quite a distance away from it.
Word of warning – Arrange to meet the estate agent and let them drive you to the different properties, you'll save a fortune in petrol.
5. Get your timing right
And lastly, the phrase "We're open 9am – 5.30pm" can mean two different things.
What you think: The estate agent is available for the entire working day.
French translation: The estate agent arrives in the office at 9.30am, but this is too early to view a property, 11.30am is also not convenient as the estate agent closes at noon for a lunch break that can last up to two and a half hours. The estate agent opens again for the afternoon but by 4.30pm it is then too late to view a property as they will close at 5 – 5.30pm.
There are very small windows of opportunity to view a property with a French estate agent, if you get one, jump on it.
Also beware Christmas holidays, summer holidays and the many, many bank holidays.
Word of warning – don't plan on visiting too many houses in one day, and remember word of warning number 4, use the estate agents car.
Photo: Sylvain Naudin