1. Tipping every time you go out to eat or grab a coffee. For Americans, it’s ingrained in their heads to tip 20 percent for basically everything, but by and large the French just don’t tip. Save some money folks.
2. Giving bisous to everyone, all the time. Although la bise is a staple of French manners, actually you don’t always faire la bise the first time you meet someone. Sometimes it’s just a handshake, especially with the older generations. La bise etiquette is one of the hardest things to learn for all foreigners in France, so don’t give yourself a hard time if you don't get it right away — give yourself at least a few years of living here.
3. Mixing up tu and vous. Everyone’s done it — accidentally saying tu to a your French partner’s grandmother you’ve just met, or accidentally saying vous to a child… When in doubt though, best to use vous and you’ll be told when/if it’s okay to switch to tu.
Photo: Adrian Barrow/Flickr
4. Forgetting to stamp your train ticket at the station. This rookie mistake can lead to hefty fines, and SNCF personnel aren’t usually sympathetic to pleas of “I’m new here, I didn't know!”
5. Not taking €23 cash with you to the doctor. Heads up. It costs €23 to see a doctor in France, sometimes more. Many doctors don’t take bank cards. But you'll get at least some of that €23 back anyway if you have a carte vitale. The French don't hesitate to take advantage of their excellent health care system, which can take some getting used to for Americans who avoid going to the doctor unless absolutely necessary thanks to exorbitant health care costs.
6. Wandering onto a Vélib track in Paris. That path is strictly for bicycles, and if you stray onto it, you’re likely to become the cause of a painful accident or at the very least an encounter with a very angry French person.
7. Forgetting that motorway speed signs are for kilometres per hour and not miles per hour. Yes driving at 130 mph on a French autoroute is going to get you in trouble. Think.
8. Showing up early to a dinner party. It’s the height of rudeness in France to catch your host unawares by showing up early. It’s much better to give them a bit of wiggle room and get there a respectable 15 minutes late.
9. Calling someone you’ve just met by their first name. Anglos tend to be a bit more casual when it comes to things like this, but unless a French person introduces themselves to you by only their first name, stick with Madame or Monsieur _______ until they give you the go-ahead to be on a first-name basis. And the same goes for tu and vous, as mentioned above.
10. Not having multiple copies of your birth certificate, passport, university diploma, 10 metre swimming certificate etc… all organized neatly in a file and ready to be whipped out for any administrative task you might need to get done. And all translated into French, of course.
11. Driving on the left. Don't scoff. The Brits do it, time and time again.
12. Offering your French friends red wine for an apéro. Vin rouge is meant to be drunk with food. For pre-dinner drinks, the French often go for a kir (a white wine/blackcurrant liqueur cocktail), a glass of Champagne, rosé, or a white wine.
13. Calling an office at 9am or at lunch time. Don't be silly, of course it won't be open. Try between 10 and 12pm and then 2pm and 4pm to be safe. Forget calling in August.
14. Leaving a polite space between you and the person in front of you while waiting in a queue. A French person will take advantage of it and cut right in there, so just get cozy with the person in front of you if you want to keep your spot.
15. Going to the cinema and expecting film to be in the original language. You might be in for a surprise if you didn’t check the cinema’s film details and you find yourself watching an American movie dubbed in French. Be sure to check the codes on the cinema’s website: if you’re seeing an English-Language film, VOSTF means Original Version with French subtitles. Otherwise, it will most likely be dubbed into French.
16. Stepping out on to a pedestrian crossing as soon as the green man appears. Don't be so reckless. At least three cars are likely to have gone through the red light and won't expect you to stick to the rules. So hold back from until it's safe.
17. Putting the washing machine on at night in Paris. You’re not living in a house anymore, and apartment walls in the capital tend to be paper thin. Neighbors can hear everything, so save yourself their wrath and do your washing during normal waking hours.
18. Trying do your grocery shopping on a Sunday afternoon. Grocery stores in most of the country close after about noon on Sundays, but McDonald's is always open.
19. Saying "excusez-moi" and not “bonjour” when you are trying to get attention. Bonjour is the most important word in French, in case you haven’t heard and that goes for when you're trying to get someone's attention. Even saying excusez-moi will appear rude to some locals.
20. Saying “Bonjour” twice to the same person in the same day. Okay, turns out you can overuse it. Saying “Bonjour” to the same person more than once in the same day is seen as rude, like you’ve forgotten you already greeted them. Instead, you can give them a nod and just say, “Ca va?” or even “Re-bonjour”.
21. Getting in a huff when there’s no ice in your drink. This can be a tough one for Americans who expect ice in their water or soda even on the most frigid winter’s day. But the French really don’t understand this tendency, so if you want ice you’ll have to specifically ask for it, and even then, don’t get your hopes up.
22. Thinking World War Three has broken out in your office. When really it's a just your French colleagues having what to them is a perfectly normal, if a little heated, discussion. Don't panic. They'll go for lunch together and carry on as normal until the next perfectly normal row.
23. Thinking you can use your bank card to pay for a baguette. There are minimum card charges here you know. Buy ten baguettes and you're fine.
Photo: sebastien panouille/Flickr
24. Petting Parisians’ dogs on the street. In some places such as the US, it’s often expected that if you have a cute dog people are going to pet it. In France, you’ll get a weird look and possibly an offended Frenchie if you don’t ask first. “Bonjour. Je peux faire une carresse, s’il vous plait?” should do the trick.
25. Telling someone off for smoking on a covered terrace. Remarkably French cafés and brasseries are basically allowed to build indoor terraces where smoking is allowed. So you will just have to put up with it.
26. Not greeting everyone individually at a dinner party. As a foreigner, you might get away with an awkward wave to the whole group for a while, but if you really want to integrate, just suck it up and go round each person kissing, unless they are of the older generation in which case a handshake might do.
27. Trying to eat at a restaurant between 2pm and 6pm. Missed lunch? Don’t expect to find an open restaurant between these hours in most places in France, apart from Paris. You’ll just have to wait until dinnertime.
28. Saying an English word with a French accent. Yes it works about 16.8 percent of the time, but there are so many pesky false friends out there you will end up really confusing someone and probably embarrassing yourself if you opt for this oft-used tactic.
29. Calling a waiter “Garçon”. Nobody says that, despite what your French text book says and it’s actually quite rude as it literally means “boy”. Instead you can just call the server “Monsieur” or “Madame” if it’s a woman of course.