Just three months after gunmen burst through the doors at theParis concert venue and murdered 90 people, the survivors are facing a tough decision on Tuesday.
With Eagles of Death Metal making an emotional return to Paris “to finish their concert”, the survivors are faced with having to decide whether or not to put themselves through what will be a traumatic and stressful, but potentially cathartic experience.
Some survivors are adamant they need to go. One, named Helene, said she is not at all worried and hopes it will help bring her closure.
“It will allow me to finish the concert,” she said, referring to the fateful gig at the Bataclan on November 13th.
But with just hours to go before the concert, Paul, whom The Local spoke to on November 13th shortly after escaping from the Bataclan, is still torn.
“I wanted to go, but now it’s getting close and it’s feeling more real, I’m starting to get scared,” the 27-year-old told The Local on Tuesday.
“I made sure I got a ticket but now I have the feeling that it’s just too soon. It’s only been three months,” he said.
Paul, like other survivors who have talked about their fears and desires of returning to see the band in concert, said the issue is not about the dread of another terror attack, but more about what traumatic memories might suddenly emerge while in a confided space alongside hundreds of others.
“I’m not scared something will happen, we know there will be soldiers and police everywhere. But it might create an atmosphere of fear and I am not really sure I want to go through that,” he said.
On the night the gunmen stormed the Bataclan, Paul was downstairs with hundreds of others facing the band with their backs to the entrance.
“We heard this noise behind us, but no one really thought much of it at first. We never thought for one moment it was a terror attack,” he said.
“They came in through the front door and just began shooting at the crowd, shooting at everyone like crazy.
“I heard them shout something like, 'This is for Syria' and 'This is for Iraq'. There were three of them. They were shouting at people not to move and if they did, they just shot them. They would shoot whenever a mobile telephone went off.”
Every survivor has their own harrowing story of that night and many like Paul will wait until the last minute on Tuesday before deciding whether to go.
“I can understand people wanting to go, so they can say they did it, but I just don't think it will make people forget what happened,” he said.
Psychologist Carole Damiani, who leads a support group for the Bataclan victims, warned some people could panic if the situation is not handled correctly.
While some fans who were wounded are physically well enough to be in the audience, the mental scars were still painfully raw, she insisted.
“When one person is panicking it is one thing, but a collective panic is something else,” she told AFP.
Going to the concert with “the same music and in a similar venue only three months later, they will be plunged into a similar sensory atmosphere,” which could trigger trauma, she warned. “For some that could be painful.”
A team of 30 volunteer counsellors and psychologists will be on hand in the theatre, she said, adding: “No one should kid themselves that this concert is going to cure them and put everything right.
Despite the area around the city's Olympia theatre being locked down by police the band's singer Jesse Hughes vowed it would “be a regular rock show”.
“Rock and roll for me has always been fun and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me, or my friends,” he said, referring to the band's fans.
Eagles of Death Metal’s pro-gun frontman Jesse Hughes stirred up controversy on the eve of the gig by suggesting that if the public had been armed then the massacre could have been prevented.
But Paul disagrees.
“Perhaps if people had had weapons, the terrorists, who were wearing bomb vests, would have acted even more violently and more decisively.
“There may have been fewer deaths, but it still would have been just as tragic.”