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Forget fake news, these are the ten real 'no-go zones' in Paris

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Forget fake news, these are the ten real 'no-go zones' in Paris
There are no-go zones in the City of Light after all. Photo: AFP
12:51 CET+01:00
After Fox News, it was the turn of the British tabloids and US far-right bloggers to claim there were dangerous "no-go zones" in Paris. But what do they know? We've listed the real places in the City of Light that you'd want to avoid. Although they're more "don't-go" zones than "no-go".
In January 2015, US TV network Fox News that eight areas in Paris were absolute "no-go zones" for non-Muslims and police. 
 
 
Unbelievably the historic Marais quarter of Paris, so popular with tourists and Parisians alike featured as one of the 'no-go zones'.
 
 
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the French were outraged. And the French twittersphere, and our own article on the subject, promptly put the record straight.
 
But perhaps the Daily Express and Fox News were on to something? Maybe there are no-go zones in the city, just not the type that they were inventing. We've put together a list of ten places in the City of Light that might be best avoided. 
 
1. The roundabout at the Arc de Triomphe
 

Observe the picture above. Would you take the challenge? Photo: Steven Scheffler/Flickr
 
If you're driving in Paris, this is the number one no-go zone. There are 12 avenues that all meet at the enormous roundabout, creating a melting pot of madness and mayhem. There are no lanes marked on the street, and it's generally considered to be a complete free-for-all.
 
If you absolutely must drive here - and you come out the other side unscathed - then we say you can officially drive anywhere.
 
2. The Eiffel Tower on a Saturday afternoon in summer
 

If you think this queue looks big, imagine being at the end of it! Photo: John Keogh/Flickr
 
The Eiffel Tower is the most visited tourist attraction in the world - and rightly so. Around 7 million people swing by every year. But unless you love queuing or have hours to spare, you should never, ever visit it on a Saturday afternoon in the summer.
 
The best time to see it is in the evening or early in the morning. And definitely go on a weekday if possible, otherwise you might be waiting a very, very long time to see the best view of the city.
 
3. Playground areas after school or on Sundays
 
This one is for the parents out there. They know what we are talking about. When the tiny play areas called 'squares' (pronounced skwars) or aire de jeux are so overrun with enfants, meaning there is ten-minute queue for the slide and parents have to act like referees to prevent full-on toddler brawls.
 
 
Paris doesn't really have many big parks and of course hardly any Parisians have gardens hence everyone with kids flock en masse to these tiny play areas. Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest. Not here. After ten minutes you will either lose your mind or your kid.
 
If you do venture to one of the squares, make sure you insert a GPS chip in your child's leg as you'll be in real danger of losing them, given the hordes around the see-saws.
 
4. The Metro (on a baking summer's day)
 

The Paris Metro. Beware. Photo: Frenchhousehunt/Flickr
 
There is no air conditioning on most of the Paris Metro. It is overcrowded. And it often smells a bit... musty, let's say. These three reasons mean that on a sweltering hot day in July, the entire Metro system is an absolute no-go zone. We suggest you see the city on foot (Paris is an extremely walkable city) and that way you don't have to spend ten minutes with your face in someone's armpit. 
 
5. The Gare du Nord train station after dark
 

The Gare du Nord as night falls. Note how quickly people are leaving the scene. Photo: Ines Saraiva/Flickr
 
Do you like the smell of urine in the air, the presence of a swathe of drug dealers, dingy and expensive bars, and loads of men hanging around with apparently nothing to do - all in the dark? Well then, Gare du Nord is for you. If not, then this is another bonafide no-go zone. Unfortunately, this station marks many people's first impression of Paris as the Eurostar arrives here, as do trains from CDG airport. We advise you to move straight on. 
 
6. Public toilets
 

A harmless looking public toilet. But do you dare venture inside? Photo: Ian Fisher/Flickr
 
If you really can't hold it in, go to a cafe or bar to use the toilets. The public toilets of Paris are hit and miss, but when they're a miss, they miss by a mile. Note: If you are going to use the toilets of a cafe, it's best you buy a coffee at least while you're there. Back-up note: just because other people are peeing at the Metro stations, that doesn't mean you should too. And the same goes for between parked cars.
 
7. Châtelet Metro station. In fact the whole area around Châtelet.
 
Some of our Facebook followers said authorities should "nuke" the station, although we feel that might be a bit drastic. The huge station, however, is a major sore spot for many commuters, mostly due to the lack of signage, the difficulty in finding connections, and the seemingly incorrect "walking time" suggestions. 
 
 
Tour guide Corey Frye told The Local he finally knew he had become Parisian when he finally learned to avoid "that scourge of all public transportation: the Chatelet metro station."
 
"It's crowded, dark, and perpetually under construction (just tile the damn walls already!)." 
 
And there were even sharks spotted at the bottom of the escalators (OK, that was an April Fool's joke).
 
 
8. The nightclubs around the Champs-Elysées
 

A busy night out on the Champs Elysées. Photo: Cha Già José/Flickr
 
If you're looking for a good night out in Paris, welcome to the number one no-go zone. At the nightclubs on the streets branching off the Champs-Elysées you'll find everything you don't want on a night out.
 
You'll pay through the nose to get in, won't get much change from €20 for a drink, and you'll have to put up with bad music and hordes of teenagers. The atmosphere is also known to get a bit moody as the night progresses.
 
And you can forget about finding a taxi home. To make matters worse, women can often get in for free, meaning the men are left outside trying to snag a lady friend to tag along with. Nobody needs that on a Friday night. You'd be better off shopping. But not here...
 
9. The Grands Magasins during the sales (or at Christmas time)
 

The Galeries Lafayette at Christmas. It must be late, otherwise it would be swarming. Photo: Pierre-Louis Ferrer/Flickr
 
Crowds, crowds, crowds. If you like doing your shopping in peace, without the masses, then places like Printemps and Galeries Lafayette are total no-go zones. At Christmas time, there are beautiful puppet shows in the window fronts - but it's no secret - and it sometimes feels as if all the parents of Paris have brought their children along for the show. Verdict: pick another time to visit. 
 
10. The Bois de Boulogne at night
 

Even the wildlife at the Bois de Boulogne can't bear to look. Photo: Fabrice/Flickr 
 
Even though this is in a fairly posh area in the 16th arrondissement, this park has been described as "a big forested brothel". Known as a rendez-vous spot for prostitutes, this isn't the kind of place you'd want to head for an evening stroll with the family or with your partner. By all means, check out the area during the day, but this a clear and definite "no-go zone" at night. You've been warned. 
 

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