The false friends of the French language can be harmless, inconvenient, or downright embarrassing.

You've surely heard, for example, that “préservatif” doesn't mean “preservative” at all – and actually means condom. 

But faux amis can also be really, really annoying, and here are the 19 most irritating of them all. 

1. Excited/Excité

You want to tell your French friend you’re very excited about something? “Excité” sounds like the word you should use, right? Unfortunately not. You just told your friend you were “aroused”, probably not what you were going for. Enthusiaste is better.

If you want to say that you had a chat with someone, and do this by saying chat in a French accent (shatte) then congratulations, you've just used the slang word for a woman's private parts (chatte in French). The French word for “to chat” is “bavarder”. 

4. Apology/Apologie

So you’ve accidentally let out a loud burp at a French dinner party. Cringing of embarrassment, you quickly let out an “apologie”. The only trouble is that in French, you’ve just told them that you “condone” or “justify” such table manners. “Pardon” and “excusez-moi” are both polite alternatives.

Photo: John.Hallam/Flickr

This one could easily get your knickers in a knot. Especially since “slip” in French translates into “men’s briefs”. If you’ve had a slip and you want to tell your French friends about it, better to use the verb “glisser”.

10. Pill/piles

You have a brutal headache and you head to the local pharmacy in search for pills to cure you. To the French, it will sound as if you’re asking for “piles”, or batteries. To avoid confusion (and to make sure you get rid of your headache), better to ask for brands like Aspirine or Doliprane.

11. Library/Librarie

Ask for the “librairie” in France and you’ll be directed to a bookshop (where you have to pay) rather than a library (which is free). The word for library is bibliothèque.

Photo: AFP

12. Sensible/Sensible

Identical, right? Not so. “Sensible” means “sensitive” in French and it’s probably not the best word to use when describing yourself in a job interview. Try “raisonnable” instead.

13. Blanket/Blanquette

Don’t be surprised if, after asking your neighbour to lend you a “blanquette”, he or she turns up on your doorstep with a ready-cooked meal. “Blanquette” is a much-loved veal stew (Blanquette de veau) which has little to do with keeping you warm at night. But “une couverture” will help you cover up.

14. Terrible/Terrible

This is a tough one, because although the word can have the same meaning in French as it has in English, it is often used to express just the opposite, i.e. that something is “great”. And it all depends on your tone of voice.

You safest bet to convey that something is terrible in the Anglo-saxon sense of the word is to use the word “horrible”. To make matters worse, saying “pas terrible” doesn't mean “not terrible” like it might seem… it actually means “quite terrible”. 

This false friend will hardly get you into any trouble, but it sure could cause some confusion with almost any French listener who might wonder where exactly this conversation is going. Tongue will most likely sound like “tongs” (pronounced with a silent s) which means thongs, or flip-flops. If you want to stick to discussing your tongue, say “langue”.  

17. Introduce/s’Introduire:

As if an introduction in France wasn’t a fraught experience already, one of the most two-faced of ‘false friends’ in French is the verb “s’introduire”. Naturally, you would think it means ‘to introduce’. It actually means to penetrate, insert or enter. So next time you meet a group of French people and you want to suggest you should all introduce each other”, the verb you’re looking for is “se présenter”.

18. Luxurious/luxurieux

And lastly, this one is particularly nasty because even though “de luxe” means luxury, as you would imagine, if you want to say “luxurious” don’t try to say it with a French accent, because it will probably come out as “luxurieux” which means “lustful”. If you want to say “you went to a luxurious hotel at the weekend” your French guests might start thinking you spent the last few days at a swingers club.